Friday, September 14, 2007

Man Skills

Seen this floating about. Not the most interesting list. Insty started it.

1. Patch a radiator hose - done it, no big deal, try patching a brake line
2. Protect your computer - yawn, in what way, firewall, virus protection, scripter. How about setting up a security gateway or defining your firewall from scratch? Daily work.
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized - Nope, I hate the water, and see no real reason for boats
4. Frame a wall - Yup, Siding, roofs, chimneys, etc
5. Retouch digital photos - Why?
6. Back up a trailer - with trucks, tractors, horses
7. Build a campfire - Matches, flint&steal, never done it with a fire-bow, but that's because I'm lazy
8. Fix a dead outlet - Yep. replace a circuit breaker standing knee deep in water.
9. Navigate with a map and compass - Yep, not really good at it, but I can
10. Use a torque wrench - Yep, Who cares?
11. Sharpen a knife - All the time, Axes, scissors, drill bits, chainsaws.....
12. Perform CPR - Nope. I know the basics, but don't know any more.
13. Fillet a fish - yep. Cleaned a chicken, squirrel, rabbit, dear, etc.
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid - With more and less success.
15. Get a car unstuck - More than I care to admit.
16. Back up data - all the time. Automated it as well.
17. Paint a room - Umm, yeah. Whitewashed, wall papered, sheet rocked, paneled
18. Mix concrete - from mix or the various parts. Even done Lime mortar
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle - yep and just about every other style shape and size
20. Change oil and filter - All the time. I never go to a shop. Probably will change when I buy a car and can't do it myself any more
21. Hook up an HDTV - Don't watch much TV. Don't want to either. I doubt it is very difficult. I read instructions pretty well.
22. Bleed brakes - Yep, and replaced pads, rotors and drums
23. Paddle a canoe - Umm sure. Small boats, ride horses, ride a bike, fly a kite - I don't get this one
24. Fix a bike flat - Far too commonly
25. Extend your wireless network - Hmmm wonder why this one. Done it at work, but have you hacked a neighbors or looked and accessed one that you weren't supposed to? Not saying I have....

Say Uncle adds these:

Clean a carcass - yep see above
Purify water - Tablets, iodine, filter, boiling, what else? (nuclear, chemical, or biological?)
Tie a knot (including one for a fishhook) - Yep. Strangely I even have some idea of how to do it with a hook that has no eye.
Know the lyrics to at least ten kids’ songs - Not likely
Break up a dog fight - Yep, though the dogs don't generally like my methods.

Here's another one:
  1. Stop arterial bleeding - Hmm. I guess I know the method, just never have had the need
  2. Hit the 10 ring with iron sights - from how far?
  3. Order a martini - Yep. can even make one
  4. Tell a joke - Well, yeah, but not really well.
  5. Put out a grease fire - been there done that
  6. Read a children’s book aloud with funny voices - Did I mention "not likely" recently?
  7. Grill a steak - oh yeah, every once and a while
  8. Change a door lock - Yep - Still thinking about figuring out how to pick a lock
  9. Look good in a suit - Well, that's not bloody possible. If you've ever seen me you'd understand
  10. Set a digital clock - Heh. Even the one on the VCR
  11. Make eye contact - with what? Bull, vicious dog, good looking lady, shit bag manager?
  12. Patch sheetrock - Um yeah, since high-school
  13. Make a paper airplane - a bunch of different kinds
  14. Make a toast - with a toaster, toaster oven, stove, open-fire
  15. Throw a punch (doesn’t matter if they see it coming, Mexi.) -Yep, had practice. Try to avoid that these days
  16. Tie a sailor’s hitch. - Don't know that one.
  17. Tie a tie - Yes, though see 9
  18. Accept a compliment - Yep. Though I find it embarrassing
  19. The Shocker - ?????
  20. Split wood - and cut down the tree with an axe, chain saw, hand saw
  21. Hang a picture frame - many times
  22. Standing leg sweep - Nope, too fancy for me
  23. Compose a photograph - Yep, just not very good at it
  24. Drive a stick - yep, twigs, branches, logs etc...
  25. Climb a fence - Chain link, picket, stock, etc.
Interesting. I wonder what else should go on the lists.


geekwife said...

Oh, now you're just being mean to yourself. You look very nice in a suit, although you need to get over your uptight self and be daring with the shirt & tie. A nice charcoal suit (NOT double-breasted) with a lavender shirt and a darker lavender tie would look lovely on you.

Nylarthotep said...


I don't think so.

geekwife said...

Okay, would you feel better if we called it lilac?

How about pale bruise-purple? Does that sound manly enough to get you to wear it?

And why won't you trust me on this, anyway? It's not like I dress Grantedd up in tutus and lace...

Nylarthotep said...

I don't like lavender, pink, purple, or yellow.

That's all there is to that.

Not that I would go out of my way to try your color scheme, but if it came to it I trust you on that sort of thing. Though I'd prefer less obnoxious colors.

geekwife said...

Cool! Can I go with you to pick out a shirt & tie for the upcoming wedding you're going to be invited to?

Phelps said...

So, I'm a little late, but just wiki "The Shocker" and you'll understand. Maybe even find an opportunity to put it to use.

And you would attach a line to an eyeless hook... with a sailor's hitch.